The year 2020 was a particularly difficult year for the entire world.
From the very beginning, catastrophe was immediately palpable from the horrifying bushfires in Australia, the flash floods in Indonesia, and of course, the COVID-19 epidemic that sequestered the globe for the entire year and even as I write this, its end remains to be seen.
And of course, there were many, many other ordeals that I have not mentioned but affected lives all over.
But what I wish to focus on in this post are the positive aspects that we can take away from even horrendously tragic events such as these. Because in every dark cloud, as we know, there is always a silver lining.
I am writing this post on the 2nd day of 2021, and as I reflect back over last year with perspective, I feel a wave of admiration seep through me.
For every single one of us.
For every person that made it through the year in spite of the challenges, the hardships and for many people - the losses.
I continue to be amazed by the resilience of humanity.
I continue to be in awe of the strength, the determination, the courage, that people are capable of holding within themselves and yet most fail to recognize.
Most of us will face our own version of hell on earth and yet it is easier to look at someone else's victories and commend them than it is to do this for ourselves, even when our own experiences could prove to have been just as arduous.
We need to learn to celebrate ourselves just as much as we celebrate others.
As for my experiences in 2020, I can honestly say that as difficult as its beginning was, most of my year provided extremely positive lessons and life-changing developments.
I guess I'm one of the lucky few that can say that 2020 was more favourable than lamentable.
I did, however, begin the year in possibly one of the worst positions I had ever found myself in all my 31 years of life.
I was 30 at the time, forced to leave the country in which I had constructed a life for myself in six years, in an unexpected and traumatising matter of two days. This all due to critical complications with my chronic illness.
I was dealing with atrocious withdrawal symptoms from a drug called Methylphenidate. I had no purpose in life and for the first time ever, not the faintest idea on how to even acquire the desire to care. I was in a dark hole that seemed to hold no light.
Nothing gave me joy. Nothing settled my tightened heart.
No matter what I did, I took no pleasure whatsoever.
Looking back, I now realise I was slowly falling into what I can only describe, as a deep depression.
And this is something I took a long time to admit.
Most probably because I never allowed myself to feel even the slightest possibility of what I had determined to be "weakness", but in fact, was simply vulnerability.
I now know being vulnerable is nothing to be ashamed of.
But at the time, I was not yet in the right place of mind to accept this.
I could see no end to the self-inflicted torture.
But the beauty of life is that nothing lasts forever, and time heals absolutely everything.
So, all in all, 2020 was actually a really good year for me.
I think it's a very good exercise at the beginning of every year, to make a list of everything good that happened the previous year or things that you are grateful for, so here goes mine.
2020 was the year:
I kicked an addiction that could have threatened my life.
I pulled myself out of a quickly emerging depression.
I finally accepted my narcolepsy and came out to the world.
I became an advocate for the narcolepsy community.
I let go of the resentment I had held onto for so long for my mum and dad.
I became a member of the World Narcolepsy Day Committee.
I met Julie Flygare, someone who changed my life.
I began and completed the Rising Voices of Narcolepsy Writing Program.
I started to finally workout consistently.
I learned to forgive myself for so many things I blamed myself for.
I said yes to a work opportunity that is changing my life.
I started working with an amazing team in the USA and have met some of the greatest women who have quickly become invaluable friends.
I discovered my "WHY"* and had the courage to share it with the world.
I got back up time and time again, after every single time my narcolepsy tried to bring me down.
So, guys, I could still go on, but I think that these are the major things that I am so grateful for in 2020.
I strongly would like to recommend you make your own list, you may just surprise yourself!
Lastly, I want to share my favourite quote ever.
It is a quote by Jim Rohn that says,
“Nothing can resist a human will that will stake its very existence on its purpose.”
The day I first heard this quote, a lot of things were suddenly put into perspective for me.
These words are words I carry with me every day and that give me the sense that anything truly, is possible as long as you do everything in your power to make it be so.
So this is how I decided I am entering 2021, with more determination than ever and with an absolutely unwavering resolve to make this year an exceptional one.
Thank you all who are following me into this year and continue to support this somewhat undisciplined blog. I appreciate every single person who takes the time to read this as time is the most valuable resource anyone can give.
I wish you all an incredible 2021!
* Your “Why” comes from within you. It is a feeling that compels you to do the work you want to do even if it requires short-term sacrifice. ... Regardless of those sacrifices, you still feel driven to pursue the work you really want to do because it gives you meaning. You can't imagine doing anything else.
(Source: Find Your Why | https://lifeskillsthatmatter.com/find-your-why/#:~:text=Your%20%E2%80%9CWhy%E2%80%9D%20comes%20from%20within,it%20requires%20short%2Dterm%20sacrifice.&text=Regardless%20of%20those%20sacrifices%2C%20you,t%20imagine%20doing%20anything%20else )